Sensitive, But Not Easily Offended

self care Sep 20, 2019

Have you ever been told, "You're too sensitive" or, "Get over it" because someone or a situation hurt you? Or, maybe you've been guilty of saying that to someone else?

Sometimes, people can be so dismissive and we can get paralyzed in knowing how to respond. But what's the alternative? To stuff our emotions or get argumentative with someone who just doesn't get it anyway?

There have been times where I dealt with my emotions by stuffing them, or telling myself that I just won't share how I really feel, or just bluntly arguing to get my point across....well, that didn't work out too well for me. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️I found myself in a pattern of broken and disconnected relationships and never feeling truly known.

Through additional experiences in life, I finally learned how to protect my heart, while staying authentically connected in order to love people well. Am I perfect at it? Not by any means, but I have come a LONG way.

You may be thinking, "Seriously? Is that even realistic or possible?"

YES! It is. But not without emotional discipline and a healthy perspective/mindset going into it.

Here's how I have learned to be sensitive, but not easily offended.

First, let's define sensitivity and give it a new label. To me, sensitivity means someone is being attuned, which is to be aware of what is happening. This involves staying connected to the heart and aware of what's going on around you. I want to be sensitive to my children's needs. This is a good thing. I don't want to be cold, disconnected from my heart, and just going through the motions day to day.

To be offended means you are getting hurt or disappointed. It may mean we have expectations of situations or people that need to get readjusted.

  1. Here's what process I took:
  • Own my own emotions. Don't take responsibility for other's actions and emotions.
  • Validate my own emotions and stop looking to others to keep me happy.
  • Get healed from my own issues, and
  • Find a place in my heart where I could still authentically love those who are offensive. This means I need a new mindset about that person or situation.

How do I still love authentically?

  1. Do a heart check. Know your buttons that people push. Recognize people are growing too! Renewing your perspectives about people and situations. Something needs to shift in your expectations....AND
  2. Be open to using a new strategy or boundary-making skill. You have to have a new way of relating to keep you healthy, and to stop yourself from being tempted to enable other's by trying to fix them into a healthier person, or criticize them into being better (spoiler alert: doesn't work long term), or shutting down from people because you struggle to manage healthy boundaries and self care.

We all need healthy relationships. If you're easily offended, do great self care, challenge your perspectives to think like heaven, get God-inspired boundary-making strategies to be whole.

If you find that you are chronically disappointed in people and situation, it may mean that you are constantly looking to others to satisfy your emotional needs. If you have a hard time getting unstuck, consider scheduling a consultation to detail a plan that works for you.

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☀️Diana Bigham